The Grief Diaries – Part 1. The day before…

My father died on the 29th June, 2025. Suddenly and unexpectedly. We had no idea it was coming. This is a diary or monologue as I process his death, the grief, the life we now live without him. My father and I were close and he was my only parent after the death of my mother in 1994, when I was just 18.

June 28th 2025

My 49th birthday.

Also the day we took my oldest child to the airport for her first international flight, on her own, to another country.

My dad messaged me on WhatsApp a couple of fun memes and Happy Birthday and a very brief chat as he knew we were leaving for the airport. I sent him a photo of the charm my kids and husband had bought me for my bracelet and said I would let him know how his granddaughter was doing on her journey.

He and I usually chatted back and forth a fair bit online. Contact every day, if not every other day. About all things, family news, politics, work, the cats, how life was going for him, in Thailand with his partner, holiday photos, random things we shared interest in.

He’d been a bit quieter for a few days prior to this and now I look back, I suspect it was because he wasn’t feeling well but wasn’t saying anything.

Custom was, on birthdays, to do a video chat, but for some reason we didn’t, this time.

We messaged as I dropped my daughter off at the airport, she boarded her flight, landed safely at her destination and arrived where she was staying. He always liked us to check in, I think he worried, being so far away, and liked to know we were safe and ok. Even as an adult, I always checked in.

My last message to him was that she had arrived safely. He relied “that’s good, I hope she has a great time”

And that was the last time we communicated.

He died the next day. I didn’t get to say goodbye.